October 2011
1 post
Anonymous asked: Thank you :)
September 2011
13 posts
5 tags
dating sites.
This isn’t necessarily a sex question, but I’m looking for some advice. I recently joined a dating website, and have gone on a couple of dates with a guy. I can see this relationship going somewhere, but I’m kind of embarrassed to tell people how we met. Any suggestions?
Honesty. Really. Dating sites aren’t that uncommon anymore and you should be proud of your accomplishments. Yeah, I met him...
2 tags
on formspring and being rude
Someone closed their Formspring account, stating that “Formspring is a cesspool for creepy, rude and generally unnecessary questions.” Agree/disagree? Your thoughts?
I neither agree nor disagree. It hasn’t been my experience. I’m incredibly fortunate and have only had a select few questions that I’ve had to delete because they were rude or disrespectful.
The thing with allowing people to be...
3 tags
mega masturbation
mega masturbatron.
Are there any negative side effects to masturbating once or more a day?
Absolutely not, masturbate away!
You really can’t masturbate too much unless it starts to interfere with other responsibilities. It can be unhealthy if you start choosing masturbation over seeing your friends, family, going to work, leaving the house, bathing… It’s also a good idea to stop masturbating...
2 tags
where to finish
what is the most satisfying sexual position for a male to finish in his partner?
I wouldn’t say that there is an answer to this question. In fact, if you get the chance to finish in your partner (condom or not) I think you’re going to be so consumed by how good it feels that you don’t really care what position you’re in. That being said, if I had to pick, I would say that the best position to...
1 tag
7 tags
3 tags
I’ve been neglecting you tumblr, but it’s only because I hadn’t quite figured out how I wanted to use you yet. I will be posting some question replies here (and answering questions people ask me here) but I’m also going to be reblogging some favorite photos, chatting with friends from the net, and generally being random as usual. Hopefully I get into a nice flow of it soon.
Anonymous asked: I recall once reading a magazine article about a cream that can be used by men and women, which causes all the blood to rush south after application. Though I can't remember what it was called. Do you know of any products of the sort?
Anonymous asked: I need help, it's been bugging my boyfriend and I a lot lately. I can't really get turned on. Sure I'm really wet after a hot make out session, but I wouldn't of known until he decides to put his hands down there. And another thing, him touching me below does absolutely nothing at all. I feel no excitement from anything, so I just stimulate him as much as I can. I've...
Anonymous asked: When is the no co-pay for BC thing supposed to take effect?
Anonymous asked: I'm not necessarily the most experienced person when it comes to sex, but I know what I like. I don't, however, like to "take charge." How do I go about letting someone know what's good and what's not?
August 2011
19 posts
2 tags
when sex isn't fun
A lot of the questions I’ve been getting lately have been upsetting, but I haven’t really tied together the commonalities until just now. I’m frustrated I can’t orgasm, my boyfriend doesn’t do the things I want in bed, I’m not sure how to get my boyfriend off, why doesn’t sex feel good anymore, how can I talk to my girlfriend about swallowing my cum, etcetera.
I guess it’s the trouble of any...
6 tags
Lesbians Having Sex
i’m a lesbian, but uneducated and inexperienced. how do lesbians have sex?
Let’s talk about vagina/vagina sex.
Actually, first, let’s talk about sex between any two people with the same genitalia. There seems to be a picture we have. Penis and vagina? Missionary Position. Vagina and vagina? Scissoring. Penis and Penis? Anal sex. I don’t know if this is the same picture you have, but it seems...
5 tags
Lasting Longer
I’m curious regarding sex: a while back, I use to have sex for at least 30 min., but then I broke up with my g/f. and took a sabbatical. Now when I do the deed, I’m considered the two minute man.. Is there anything I can do to last????
This is one of my favorite questions because it can be a fairly easy fix for most, and can really improve sex for both parties. I’ve written about it before (you...
2 tags
Just Can't Orgasm
I’m a very sexual person and love having sex with my boyfriend. He’s amazing in bed and is very well endowed, but I can’t always orgasm the way I used to. In 1 particular previous relationship, I came every time. Now I’m confused why I can’t. Help!
Not to be snarky, but you’ve learned a good lesson. One everyone should be aware of. Even if you’re amazing in bed and have a giant cock you still...
3 tags
Going Soft
Sometimes my boyfriends cock goes a little soft in the middle of a blow job, why is this and what can I do to make sure he stays really hard?
It happens. The cock isn’t always in mega-erection-vein-popping mode. Even when you’ve having sex there can be some variability in stiffness. When you’re fooling around though it can be helpful to communicate with your partner to make sure that you’re...
5 tags
Dealing with Jealousy
Living a life of complete trust and honesty made me open season for various other emotions. Jealousy. Heartbreak. Sadness. Loneliness. Anger. What I didn’t know then - but know now- are that these are valid emotions. Perfectly acceptable to feel. I am a russian nesting doll, building up on myself, each shell becoming a bit stronger and bigger than the last.
I don’t have to question...
1 tag
Take my Latest Poll →
3 tags
For the First Time
Hey, I’m a virgin and I want to have sex with my boyfriend. I’m ready, but the problem is that once he found out I’m a virgin, he lost interest in having sex with me. WTF??? He won’t talk about it, and even when I ambush him naked he’s like no. UGH! Helpp
Many people feel that being intimate with someone who has never had intercourse before comes with strings. That they may need to be...
A Long Post About Change
Two years ago I decided that I wanted to add a minor to my Psychology major. Gender, Sexuality, and Queer studies. I’ve always been fascinated with sexuality, and not in the way that people seemed to think I was. I was never some particularly horny nympho who wanted to talk about sex all day. I justreally liked sex. Everything about it. The Psychology of it all. The Physiology. I couldn’t get...
4 tags
QOTD
Preventing babies from being born is not medicine. That’s not — that’s not constructive to our culture and our civilization. If we let our birth rate get down below replacement rate we’re a dying civilization,” King said on the House floor on Monday night.
- GOP Rep Steve King on how free birth control is going to end the human race
These two came in close, though. He’s a walking talking quote...
2 tags
STD / STI
Just as the person before asked about getting STI’s while being clean, does the same go for STD’s?
STI and STD are often used interchangeably. When responding to questions I will generally go off of whichever one the question-asker has used.
STD: Sexually transmitted disease
STI: Sexually transmitted infection
There was some push a while back for STI to replace STD as...
sacredorscared-deactivated20111 asked: Is this going to be a heteronormative blog? From the post about dental dams, you said, "There are also “dental dams” which are barriers for men to use when performing oral sex on women." What about trans* people, genderqueers, lesbians, (etc.) couples you're excluding that could use this information?
3 tags
J. Lo Wiz
Sometimes you get inspiration in really strange places. Like Cosmopolitan Magazine, despite it being a giant sack of shit. Or written on the wall of a bathroom in only a few words. Sometimes from a source that you’ve never found particularly insightful before. Enter Jennifer Lopez.
It’s not that I didn’t love myself before. Sometimes we don’t realize that we are compromising ourselves. To...
3 tags
infected if you're clean
Is it still possible to get STI’s even when both you and your partner are clean and without any infections?
If you and your partner are clean and monogamous, you cannot get an STI. You would need to come in contact with the infection in order to be infected. Luckily there is no such thing as spontaneous sexual infection. The only exception here would be STIs that were passed from mother to...
3 tags
condoms and oral
Should I use a condom when giving my boyfriend oral?
You should use a condom while giving your boyfriend oral if:
1. It makes you feel better, safer, more comfortable, etcetera
2. You want to continue to give him oral until he ejaculates but do not want to swallow or taste semen
3. You want to further protect/prevent STDs
If your partner has been tested clean, you feel comfortable with...
4 tags
anal and a big...
My bf wants anal sex & although I’ve done it before, I’ve never done it with anyone as big as him! He’s huge. We tried once but it was too painful to continue. Aside from lube, any other suggesions?
Patience, really. Particularly with someone or something that is larger than you’re accustomed to. You’re going to want to loosen the muscles up to allow something larger to enter. I’d recommend...
4 tags
oral sex / women
The first time someone went down on me (I’m a girl), it was really weird. Like, awkward and… cold. I orgasmed, but it didn’t necessarily feel GOOD. I never want to do that to someone else… so how do I perform oral on a woman?
I’ve had oral sex that starts off like that and my guess is that it was because you may not have been totally aroused. If you’re not aroused oral sex might just feel like…...
5 tags
oral sex
I want to give my boyfriend oral sex but I’m not sure how I should go at it for the first time …. help?
I can still remember my first blow job. In retrospect it probably marks a whole lot of naughty things to come. We’re fooling around on my bed for the billionth time, just tiptoeing around the obvious fact that he has a giant erection a few inches from my face. The elephant...
2 tags
Huge! No co-pay for BC voted!
The Department of Health and Human Services has announced that all new insurance plans must cover birth control without co-pays under the new health care reform.
4 tags
never orgasmed
I’m 20, getting married in a couple months, have had 5 partners and never orgasmed. My fiance got me the closest and is determined, but whats the easiest move he can do? He’s been gone for months at basic and is worried he won’t last long when he’s home.
There is no such thing as an easy move. Everyone works differently, so what may work for someone else may not work for you. The best you can...
5 tags
post secret slut
This secret made me really sad.
They used the word “slut” which is a derogatory term for women who enjoy their sexuality. I read this postcard as “I haven’t been able to fully enjoy my sexuality because I am not comfortable with my body.”
Big, little, in-between, upside down or crooked, everyone deserves the ability to feel a little slutty every now and then.
July 2011
31 posts
2 tags
faking orgasms
I hear a lot of rationalization for faking. I want him to know how good he makes me feel, I just can’t orgasm so it would go on forever unless I “came”, it doesn’t matter if I just do it every now and then…
This post is directed towards women. For men it is significantly harder to fake an orgasm. While a man can orgasm and ejaculate separately, the two are almost always simultaneous.
Women...
3 tags
vagina/soap
I know women aren’t supposed to use soap to clean their vaginas, but what if there’s an unusual odor that won’t go away? I’ve been tested for infections, etc and I’m clear. This is really starting to get to me..
There is a difference between “unusual” and “foul.” Foul smelling discharge would be something akin to rotton eggs, a very easily...
3 tags
men and masculinity
I’ve been reading over the past few days about what men should do in tricky men/masculinity situations in which they feel uncomfortable with what is going on but don’t want to risk being outcast. One situation in particular that caught my attention was men calling women sluts in the presence of another guy who doesn’t approve of putting down women.
Talking about mens issues...
existing
My grandpa wrote a lot, like I do. While most of his writing was about life or love I can remember one thing he wrote very clearly. I cannot imagine this world without me in it.
I was just sitting on the couch just a few steps away from my desk and I was reading a book. The scene is an old man looking in a mirror and noticing how he is aging, falling apart, slowly dying like everyone else but...
4 tags
depo / condom
Hi Lorelei, I’m on the Depo provera shot and have been for nearly two months. My boyfriend and I had sex sans condom while I was on my period, and I’m wondering if the Depo is enough to prevent pregnancy or if I should just go get plan b to be safe?
Here is a quote directly from Planned Parenthood about the shot.
If you get the birth control shot within the first seven days after...
Discharged
i keep having this light yellow/white milky discharge from my vagina. is that normal? or is that like a yeast infection? it doesn’t have an odor..
This is normal. Women have two primary types of discharge from their vagina. The first type is the discharge that comes out of the vagina when the vagina “cleans” itself. Normal discharge is typically a white, clear, creamy, and...
1 tag
the inevitable heartbreak
It was raining.
I held onto the handle of my umbrella, attempting not to be picked up by the next gust of wind.
I’m in pioneer square, Portland’s living room. An empty plaza in the middle of downtown lined with brick steps. A crater where people come to sit and talk and eat and take photos or attend concerts and other events. Now it simply acts as a giant drain for the water...
3 tags
nymphomania
As a follow up question to something you recently posted, would you consider yourself a Nymphomaniac? Not necessarily the “uncontrollable” desire but the excessive amount
If you’re only talking about excessive desire I would say that definitely is a matter of opinion. I said that I had sex about 3-4 times a week iirc. To me that’s average. I get off probably every day if...
Books Read, Books Chosen
For the first time in who knows how long I finished all of my books before the library due date. Three rather large novels in two weeks. I pat myself on the back. Mystic River, The Strain, and Shameless. I recommend all three. The Strain is on my mind most right now because it’s the book I just finished. It’s a fantastic summer read co-written by Guillermo Del Toro, the first book in a trilogy...
1 tag
Frequency of Sex
How often would you say you participate in sexual acts (either alone or with your partner)?
If I had to guess averages for both I’d say five days of the week I do something alone and four days of the week with my partner. But I’m not really sure I can average out like that. I’d have to start a chart, something I’m not keen on doing. There are a lot of days where I’ll masturbate maybe three...
6 tags
autofellatio NSFW
I think you should write about autofellatio
I can write about autofellatio. Is there something you want to hear about? It doesn’t have to be a sex question, if you’re not sure what to ask. Submit blog topics and questions anonymously to my formspring!
Now, autofellatio. For those who don’t know autofellatio is the act of giving yourself oral sex. Because “fellatio” is male oral sex,...
2 tags
QOTD
“I’ve never been scared to explore sexuality in my work because I think it is very important. It’s a big area of what makes us us, the desire to sleep with men or women, and I never wanted to have limits in any of my work other than my own morals.”
-Ewan McGregor
10 tags
Expert Guide to Advanced Anal
Every post I write on anal sex comes with the requisite “But really, you should just watch The Expert’s Guide To Anal Sex, look up Tristan Taormino,” plug. I discovered the video many years ago in a bout of sexual exploration. Anal sex is a subject that reaches the tip of sexual taboo and Tristan Taormino, slowly pressing through the metaphorical sphincter muscles, masters this taboo. I got the...
moicheire asked: I have a question. I'm 14, and I'm a virgin, but I like to finger myself with a dildo. I don't want the guy I have my first time with to think I'm not a virgin..but I use a larger dildo.. Any suggestions?
6 tags
Condoms + Water
Can I still use a condom in the shower?
Yes! You should always use protection, whether you’re in the shower or on the bed. It can become slightly problematic though so you’ll need to be more attentive. As always, make sure that the condom is in good condition before using it. That means checking for any holes as well as checking for an expiration date. Depending on how slippery things...